|
|
| |
At Hope for Tomorrow, from the moment
someone completes a residential intake
application to the time a client completes a
“Discharge Questionnaire”, the concept of
“building their life around their recovery
instead of building their recovery around
their life”®
is vehemently emphasized. Every thought
they make is centered on this simple
question:
Is this decision allowing me to place my
recovery first and foremost?
Throughout the past 8
½
years, it has been our observation that
individuals who internalize this concept
achieve long-term uninterrupted sobriety—and
those that don’t, relapse!
In the wheel below, recovery is the
central—most important element. Working
outward, all relationships, goals,
activities, and responsibilities must come
secondary to recovery.
Recovery from any addictive disorder is
possible if the recovering person remains
steadfast in this mindset.
Without exception, our experience shows that
whenever someone falls short and relapses,
it is because they placed recovery in an
outside circle and put an outside circle in
the center spot where recovery should be.
For example, two common areas that we see
people struggle with are: occupational
obligations and interpersonal
relationships. Often, especially for men,
grasping the concept of accepting a job that
pays less but allows for a “balanced
lifestyle” is a foreign thought.
Unfortunately, society measures worth by
paychecks and assets. Self-perceptions of
success often correlate to working longer
hours or striving for a high stress/high
paying job. These perceptions, justified by
money or material possesions, take
precedence over building a lifestyle that
allows for meeting attendance; sponsor
contact; developing a solid support network;
incorporating fun sober-based leisure
activities; or getting enough rest. As a
result, the recovering person develops an
attitude of ungratefulness—which leads to
resentments—which ultimately leads to
relapse. In the interpersonal relationship
scenario, an individual in early recovery
(which is defined as the first 2 years of
abstinence) with a low self-image seeks
acceptance through another person (e.g., if
Bobby/Susan find me attractive, I must be
okay”) or a well-intended but uninformed
(about addictive disorders) family that
place unhealthy and/or unrealistic
expectations on the recovering person. The
responsibility for building a life around
recovery lies in the hands of the recovering
individual. It involves establishing and
maintaining occupational; relational;
recreational; physical; financial; personal;
and spiritual boundaries
Recovery is far more than abstaining from
addictive substances or behaviors. True
recovery must include a mindful
transformation that modifies patterns of
negative thoughts and behaviors and replaces
them with positive ones. Recovery involves
separating wants from needs—that is what
makes it difficult. The needs of recovery
include: maintaining a balanced lifestyle
(including diet/exercise); spiritual,
emotional, and mental growth; taking
responsibility and cleaning up the wreckage
of the past; developing realistic goals; and
personal accountability. Coming into
recovery after decades of addictive thoughts
and behaviors, may appear unreachable.
However, each day, we see hopelessly lost
and bankrupt (emotionally, mentally,
spiritually) men and women, with 25-30 years
of drinking/drugging behind them, turn their
lives around (180°)
and lead happy, sober, joyful, productive,
accountable lives, just by
living
this concept! |
|
| |
|
|
|
